You may be fretting with how to introduce your parents to your boyfriend who is of a different race, and that is understandable. After all, meeting the parents is taking a huge leap. No family occasion can be more unnerving than when you are dating expats and decided to bring him or her home for proper introduction. Below are tips on dating for women, especially when they have finally decided that the guy they are going out with is husband material. These should help her prepare both sides of the camp so her leap on how to find love in the face of cultural differences becomes a safe landing and not a disastrous meeting:
If you are the expatriate:
- Pick a time that you know both of your parents will be around as you float the idea of setting them up for a meeting with your boyfriend. This is quite a challenge if your parents also work, as they may have professional responsibilities even during holidays. However difficult it may seem, blocking off a schedule and a back up date at least two weeks ahead should cover the bases.
- Brief your boyfriend with your parents’ traditions and expectations, along with characteristics that you think might be a source of potential conflict. How to find love is sometimes a matter of minimizing friction, especially between parties who are equally important to you. Do they expect that he bring a present during the face-off? Do they expect that he be different to the elderly especially in matters of opinion? Will your parents be offended if he shows up in casual attire? Nothing is as frustrating as getting close to finally addressing “how can I find true love” only to lose it with a minor slip.
- Let your boyfriend know what he can expect once the ice has been broken. Are your parents particularly indulgent when it comes to visitors? Do they interrogate potential partners? Do they immediately share personal stories (that may sound improper at this stage) once they meet somebody you bring home?
- Give your boyfriend a head start with questions that your parents might ask, so he gives a “politically correct” answer. Parents, especially of Asian expats, usually exert influence when it comes to their children’s finding a soulmate. You would want your boyfriend to score high to win him favors. Should there be any language barriers, let your boyfriend know ahead, too.
- Be upfront with who foots the bill when the meeting is not at home. This way, you minimize that awkward moment when your parents and your guy outdo each other with the tab.
- Respect your boyfriend’s dietary choices, either because of religion or personal philosophy. Let everyone who will be at the table know so they will not put him in the defensive in matters of food (and religion or personal beliefs). You would want to refrain from offending anybody, especially in the process of how to find love. More important, do not forget letting the cook know your boyfriend’s dietary requirements, so he or she does not commit this major blunder. Dating expats opens you up to a world of culinary choices because you need to accede to their eating preferences.
- Advise your boyfriend if you are planning to invite everyone in the family, as everyone’s presence might make him feel outnumbered tremendously. You would want to avoid putting him in that position, as that might make him feel an outcast.
If your boyfriend is the expatriate:
- Tell your parents that you are inviting your boyfriend over. Prepare them for his visit by telling them something about his cultural background, dietary preferences, and religious beliefs, among others, especially if they are not particularly aware that there is a certain etiquette observed when dating expats.
- Brief your boyfriend beforehand as to what is expected of him as a guest in your home. In some Asian cultures, boyfriends are often expected to take part in household chores, especially if they are coming over on an extended visit.
- Schedule a meeting for each parent if they are divorced. As a matter of courtesy, refrain from giving your boyfriend the impression that you favor one parent over the other. In time, let him know, but not when you introduce them for the first time.
The process of how to find love does not only involve two people: Finding a soulmate involves everyone in these two people’s lives. You can expect that in the future, if things go well with your boyfriend’s visit, it will be your turn to be introduced.