Romance is a great thing, but it quickly becomes something a bit different. Usually, it becomes partnership. We are not talking about the teammate sort of partnership or the standard business arrangement… we mean the kind of partnership that enables us to enjoy balance, peace, and security within our minds.
There are a few stages in the partner relationship and they include that romantic, first blush of love stage; the more mature but just as “green” enchantment stage; the power struggle period (usually defined by a lot of growth); and the various “forks in the road” stages. These include the choice to make the relationship permanent through marriage or civil union; overcoming major struggles (rather than splitting); and taking time apart to determine if the relationship is worth saving.
Along the way, the couples that will make it through the biggest struggles are those who respect each other, find it possible to compromise, and offer trust even if it has been tested or broken.
The Nature of Love
What has to be emphasized here is the fact that most partnerships may develop for a variety of reasons, but they remain active and thriving only when the two really do have a foundation of respect. There is not really any chance for making it “the distance” if one does not really respect the beliefs of the other.
For example, a religious person who marries someone who is anti-religion is not likely to enjoy a lengthy marriage because the two different sets of beliefs are just too substantial. On the other hand, the couple who each cheer for different sports teams will enjoy a bit of playful antagonism and even bond over a shared affection for a specific game or sport.
The Language of Love
Of course, no partnership is perfect and in all relationships there are times of great struggle and turmoil. At such times it is important that the people involved remember that they do have responsibility to one another and that they remain together because they are true and dear friends as well as romantically involved.
The value of a true loving relationship cannot be undervalued. These are the people we turn to for advice, comfort, and honesty. This is why “fighting fair” is something that everyone should master.
A simple example is using “I” statements during arguments instead of “you” statements. For instance, “You always say that… ” is not as productive as “I feel that I am not being heard… “
Additionally, you must keep in mind that your speech and tone of voice should clearly indicate that you are willing to forgive and work together. There are certainly times when you want to walk out a door and never return. However, many people forget the enormous bond they have with someone in moments of anger or hurt. This is a time to embrace the power of forgiveness.
Often, a moment of crisis or even a catastrophic argument can be brought to an end if one person simply apologizes, reaches out a hand, and proves that their partnership relationship is more valuable than winning the debate, feeling that they are in the right, or conquering their best friend.